I don’t pretend to understand what has happened to me to put me in the place I am in life. It is not the place I ever intended to be by age 48. I am writing from my bed, because at this time I cannot walk. I say ‘at this time’ because I have no intentions of this being permanent. I have been saying for 2 years that I want the therapy I need to walk again, and I have been fighting for it as hard as I know how. Unfortunately life has not complied. I am now having both physical and occupational rehab, but it is only two days a week. Eleja and Antonio are both wonderful and are helping me as much as possible. I will post all updates on my condition in the Things I Have Done category.
For now I am home, and that was a huge deal. I may not always be happy, but I am always happier here than I was at Riverview. That is a blog or 12 in itself! I am trying to adjust being here, and at times it is difficult and I lose it and cry. I don’t cry for empathy, or attention, or any other reason than I have been through so much trauma since January 31st of 2010. That can make the strongest person in the world drop to the ground…I promise it can!
So, I try not to lose control, because when I cry I cannot seem to stop for 30 minutes or longer. It is so frustrating when one of my CNAs is here and I cannot stop crying. I know they want to help, but when I am upset I want to be left ALONE!!! As time goes on I know the crying jags will not be as sudden or severe, and that is definitely something I look forward to. For now, I just take each day as it comes…for what else can I do? I have no control of the hours that pass, do I?
Where am I now, on Tuesday, March 13, 2012? Home. Home Sweet Home!!!